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Meera believes
that life is made up of winners and losers…and that she is the loser.
She wishes she had more confidence and more control over her life. She
also feels that she is repeating the same mistakes, again and again. She
is not satisfied with anything but the best, and sets goals that are so
unrealistic that she is paralyzed into inactivity, so out of reach that
she is doomed to fail to achieve them.
On the other
hand, Lata knows her limitations. She makes sure that she sets herself
goals that she can achieve. This makes her confident and in control of
the various situations she encounters in life. Lata often sub-divides
large tasks into small steps. Consequently the completion of each small
step, in itself, makes her feel successful and confident.
Of the two
people described above, you will see that Lata’s method of goal
setting is obviously more successful and productive.
Now here are a few
activities on goal setting.
Activity One
Let’s look
at your problems, issues, and unachieved goals for a minute. Write a
complete list of all these issues, of all things that you worry about,
which cause you stress and anxiety. Some of the common things you may be
worried about are listed below:
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appearance
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health
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relationships
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managing coursework
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assignments
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marks
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examinations
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making presentations
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relationships with tutors
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dealing with employers
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mini projects
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lack of text books
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money
Make your own
honest list. When you have completed the list, sit down and deliberately
worry, as hard as you can, about all you’re the issues that worry you,
for at least ten minutes. Often, listing and thinking about your
unachieved goals may help you arrive at a solution or even may clear
things up in your mind.
Activity
Two
Now, sort out
your own values. First, list all the things you really believe in. Now
list all the things that you just pretend to believe in, in order to
please other people. Be honest. Are your lists different? Rip up the
list of things you pretend to believe in. Now take the list you really
believe in, and create for yourself a code of values that you have
decided for yourself, rather than ones that have been determined by
others and foisted on you. When you do this, you develop your own
values, and you will have your own code. You will not waste valuable
time and energy worrying and feeling guilty about upholding values you
do not believe in.
Activity
Three
Now think in a
realistic way about your goals — what you want to achieve in life. Aim
high, but make sure your goals are attainable — unrealistic goals are
just daydreams.
Some of your
goals may be long term; others will be things you want to achieve in the
near future. One important task is to ensure that these two fit
together. Ask yourself:
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Do you have so many short term goals unrelated to your long-term
goals that you will have no time to make progress towards the latter?
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Alternatively, are you concentrating exclusively on the long term
and not setting yourself any targets for the near future?
When you have
critically examined your goals, list them, and keep the list. Now you
will learn how you can realize your goals through self-development.
Self-development
The good news
is that you all have scope for continuous improvement and change. You
can develop yourself in the directions you want by checking your
responses to your environment, performing a SWOT analysis on yourself,
building on the strengths you already have, working on your weaknesses,
unlearning bad habits, and learning skills that you have to do for
yourself, because no one can do it for you. You have to take control of
your own personal self-development. If you are willing to try some of
the ideas and concepts we have to offer, you are already on the way.
Self-development means that you take charge of your own:
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Performance improvement as a student.
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Learning and application of new transferable skills, and
practicing current ones.
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Ability to achieve your own total potential.
Some of you may feel that
taking control of your own life is too difficult. In case you think so
you can try this exercise: ask yourself how many hours you have spent
recently thinking about, and planning:
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What new CD to buy.
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With whom you should spend your weekend.
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Whether you should look for PG accommodations or live in the
hostel.
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Your holidays.
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Your life.
Your life is
definitely as important as your CD player or the way you spend your
weekend. If you give it as much of your time as you give to these less
important decisions, and use the concepts outlined here, you can take
control of it.
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